HOW TO THRIVE DESPITE EXPERIENCING IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
I had the pleasure of speaking with Candice Georgiadis at Authority Magazine for a conversation about Impostor Syndrome. It was helpful to explore my own experiences with Impostor Syndrome. My favorite part of the conversation was sharing 5 steps that someone who is experiencing Impostor Syndrome can take to move forward despite feeling like an “Impostor”. Please enjoy the transcript below from this conversation.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
My career journey has been fairly typical for my generational classification as a “Xennial.” I graduated high school, went to a four-year liberal arts college to earn a bachelor’s degree, and began corporate life. I took pride in being a dedicated and committed employee and didn’t want to run from job to job. However, I did always feel like I was chasing something because where I was never seemed to be where I wanted to be. This was my first experience with imposter syndrome, only I had no idea there was a name for what I was feeling – and that millions of other people feel it, too. I was successful in each role I had, progressed myself through promotions, and even transitioned industries. About every 2-3 years I found myself hitting a wall, unsure how to develop my career or know my next step. Fast forward 15 years into my career. I was finally able to articulate what I wanted to do, what skills and strengths I had to do it, and the guts to go for it.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take-aways’ you learned from that?
In 2010, I was working at a job that on paper I should have still loved. I began my career in event planning and was working for a technology media company running one and two-day events around the country. I got to travel, had a large portfolio of events, and, in theory, had autonomy over my work - everything up to that point I’d been aiming for. However, I was micromanaged, spoken to like an irresponsible child, and didn’t feel supported or part of my corporate community. I had this yearning to find more meaning in my work and sought out a position running a local fundraising event for a national non-profit.
The problem was my resume had zero professional fundraising experience and limited volunteer fundraising experience. I was a little scared to have a high fundraising target. I knew I could do it. First, though, I had to find someone to give me a chance to try. I leveraged my network and nearly two months after applying for the position, found my way to someone who worked there, who shared my resume with the hiring manager. I finally got an interview, and I got the job.
This was a major turning point in my career. I had a purpose, I was motivated, and I was successful at my job. I learned so much from this experience about how to advocate for myself, how I had to believe in myself (even if I was a little scared), and that you can’t expect opportunities to fall into your lap. Sometimes you must make things happen.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Coaching is such a personal experience that for most people what makes one coaching practice stand out from another is the connection they have with the coach, the person. That isn’t something you can predict or even name.
Swift Water Life Coach was built on the foundation that every person has everything they need to achieve their goals right now. They just might not know it, believe it, or see it. I am a pragmatic and action-oriented coach. While we explore the big picture or the deeper meaning, my clients and I always come back to what can they do in the next month, week, or few days to move in their desired direction. I’ll share a story; I had a client who was concerned her co-workers didn’t think she was qualified for a project she owned. She wanted to address it head-on but wondered if this was her own Impostor Syndrome manifesting or her coworkers actually had this perception. As we explored this complex situation, we developed an action plan that involved different ways to approach collaborating with those co-workers. While it wouldn’t directly let her know if it was Impostor Syndrome or not, she was confident it would be a more productive approach to the project and how her co-workers responded might give her some helpful insight.
Being able to shift emotional and theoretical goals into a tangible action item sets my company apart and makes a difference for clients. In fact, it’s a great way to approach Impostor Syndrome. It can feel so hard to change your mindset and suddenly feel good enough when you haven’t been feeling that way. Finding small, tangible things to do to encourage the mindset shift can be a wonderful jump start.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
Cue the ‘get-off-the-stage music’... there are a lot of people who helped me get where I am today. Given we are discussing impostor syndrome, I must mention my first coach, Heather. I met and worked with Heather at a time in my life when my impostor syndrome was at an all-time high, in the sense that I felt like nothing I did measured up and I had no idea how to do things differently. Heather not only introduced me to the power of coaching, but her coaching helped me get out of my own way. The trajectory of my life changed in those 12-18 months and ultimately brought me to becoming a coach.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the experience of Impostor Syndrome. How would you define Impostor Syndrome? What do people with Imposter Syndrome feel?
Impostor Syndrome is feeling like you are doing something you are not equipped to do. I recently heard the original definition was actually more about the gap between who you are and who society expects you to be. In either case, when you experience Impostor Syndrome, you feel like you aren’t good enough. Maybe it’s not smart enough, not experienced enough, not old enough, not <whatever> enough, just not enough. You question your intuition, your decision-making, your execution, and your ability. You likely seek out validation, any way you can get it – even unhealthy ways.
What are the downsides of Impostor Syndrome? How can it limit people?
Impostor Syndrome can be draining. If you are constantly feeling not good enough, your mental and emotional wellness takes a huge hit and that can impact your physical health, your relationships, and your overall well-being. It can limit your ability to tackle projects and responsibilities if you don’t think you are capable. And for anyone trying to take their career, business, or self to the next level – if you are experiencing Impostor Syndrome, you will likely feel like you hit the ceiling.
How can the experience of Impostor Syndrome impact how one treats others?
The most common side effect of Impostor Syndrome is lack of confidence. How a lack of confidence manifests is different for everyone – some people get defensive and project lots of negative energy outward, others retreat, get quiet and disengage.
If you think of it from a business standpoint, if someone is experiencing Impostor Syndrome as a business owner, a potential client inquires with them, they likely hesitate to articulate the value they provide, they might waiver in answer questions, they might immediately start offering discounts and add-ons just to try to convince the potential client to work with them. On the surface, it might seem fine for that potential client to get a nice deal but really, they aren’t going to get the best service because everything will be driven by Impostor Syndrome and create a vicious cycle if that client walks away without a positive experience.
We would love to hear your story about your experience with Impostor Syndrome. Would you be able to share that with us?
Impostor Syndrome is a nasty bug that can visit and re-visit at any time. I find as I try new things and expand my business, I must be vigilant about my mindset, so Impostor Syndrome doesn’t keep creeping in. For me, there are two times I felt the impact of Impostor Syndrome the most: my first job after graduating college and then a job about 5-7 years later. The first instance I was working at a start-up company that offered a lot of learning opportunities but as a new graduate living in a big city on my own for the first time, I didn’t have the structure of a large corporation to support me in the ways that I needed. In hindsight, this created a window for my Impostor Syndrome to slide in. Who was I to help build a company? Why was I more qualified than my classmates to have more input and design in my career? And certainly, who was I compared to my successful company founder with a track record of success and the guts to put herself out there? I had NO idea at the time I was dealing with Impostor Syndrome, but I often didn’t feel confident, questioned what I was doing and how I was doing it, and was feeling like I didn’t measure up.
Fast forward three jobs later and Impostor Syndrome came knocking again. It looked and felt different this time. I was working in events at the job I shared about earlier, on paper it was perfect but, it just wasn’t a good fit. I wasn’t interested or passionate about the content, so I felt behind from my colleagues who were passionate – it felt like they knew a lot more (probably because they did). The Impostor Syndrome this time show up as unhappiness, feeling like I was going through the motions and that I didn’t have a plan or a path forward. It showed up for me in being defensive and feeling uneasy all the time like I was being watched to be caught as an impostor instead of being respected as a professional.
Did you ever shake the feeling off? If yes, what have you done to mitigate it or eliminate it?
Thankfully, I did shake the Impostor Syndrome. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t try to sneak its way back in. For me, a part of Impostor Syndrome was being in the wrong place and working toward something that was not a fit for me – so it in some ways it makes sense that I felt like a fake. Being able to recognize what wasn’t working for me in those two positions made a huge difference. The positions I moved into after those were well aligned with who I am and how I work. They allowed me to leverage my strengths, create impact, and see results - Impostor Syndrome doesn’t like that! The first step for me was realizing I wasn’t in the right place and the second was being flexible yet persistent about finding something that was a better fit. Throughout my career, every role I have had has taught me more about where and how I succeed, and that knowledge is a great defense against Impostor Syndrome.
In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone who is experiencing Impostor Syndrome can take to move forward despite feeling like an “Impostor”? Please share a story or an example for each.
In no particular order, the 5 steps to move forward despite feeling like an “Impostor” are 1) name what matters, 2) talk about your skills, strengths, and uniqueness, 3) expand your view, 4) stop comparing, and 5) create systems and metrics. These steps can be used together or independently depending on when your Impostor Syndrome shows up and what form it takes.
Name what matters to you. An unfortunate thing about Impostor Syndrome is that it can often show up in something that doesn’t mean anything to you. If you recall, the origination of Impostor Syndrome had more to do with people not matching up with what society wanted from them.
What is it that matters to you? Maybe you don’t care about being a fantastic cook – great, then you can let go of those expectations and no longer feel like an Impostor the next time you cook pasta from a box or order take out! As Kendra Adachi says, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don’t. Find what matters to you, name it, focus on it and put your energy into that.
Practice talking about your skills, strengths, and unique characteristics. Personally, I find this one to be hard! We aren’t wired to self-promote. When you don’t talk about all your awesomeness and if no one else is talking to you about your strengths you might start to forget about them! You don’t need to post about them on social media or talk about them in every conversation at work. Instead, find a way to talk to yourself about your skills and what makes you unique. Maybe it’s affirmations, maybe a form of journaling, maybe just the notes app on your phone or a post-it on your desk. With practice, it will come more naturally, and you will gain confidence in those very skills. Confidence is a great shield for Impostor Syndrome.
Expand your view. The world is a big place and there is room for everyone. This is a lesson I learned when I became a coach. Coaching is an innovative industry in many ways. Having supportive and collaborative fellow coaches is the most amazing thing about the industry. I have learned that while I may not coach like someone else, no one else can coach like me either. There is enough room for us all to have an impact, be of service and share our gifts with the world. A scarcity mindset is a breeding ground for Impostor Syndrome. If your industry isn’t naturally inclusive, how can you begin to shift the scarcity mindset?
Stop comparing. We have all heard the C.S. Lewis quote “comparison is the thief of joy” because it’s true. One of the biggest invitations for Impostor Syndrome is comparing yourself to others. When you look around at peers, colleagues, leaders, even influencers it’s easy to start listing how you don’t measure up. The simple answer is simply to stop comparing. To actually do that you might need to safeguard yourself – be selective about who you follow on social and when you scroll. Who is it you compare yourself to and how can you change when and how you interact and engage to prevent unnecessary comparing? You might have to get creative.
Create systems and metrics. Ok, I said no particular order, but I did put this step last for a reason. You must be careful about using systems and metrics to measure against because it can encourage comparison and unrealistic expectations. However, if you feel like you have tried everything, maybe you need some objective metrics to align with so you can see on paper that you are measuring up. My other major caution here is that the metrics not only have to be objective, but they must be achievable. Depending on what area of your life you are creating them for, it may be smart to enlist support in creating and editing the metrics so that you know they are appropriate from a trusted colleague or friend.
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!